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This category of affair is similar to the Country Club
Affair in that the betrayer is involved with a single person, but
at the same time he or she does not want to leave their marriage.
To them, the affair partner is a soul mate.
These affairs frequently spring from a relationships
where the two individuals share something in common such as music,
art, or some other common interest. Typically, this area is something
they don't share in common with their mate, so they turn to this
person for understanding, companionship and support.
It is as if this person develops two lives. They share
one part of themselves with their mate and then they reserve another
aspect of life for the affair partner. Daily activities and information
are divided into two realms: that which will be shared with the
spouse, and that which will be shared with the affair partner.
Usually this type of affair indicates that there are
other deficits in the marriage, but like I stated before, these
marital problems in no way excuse the infidelity. They are areas
that will need to be addressed in order to strengthen the marriage.
Characteristics:
- The individual wants to stay married.
- It's not unusual for the affair partner to be referred
to as a soul mate.
- The betrayer's life is divided into two parts, the
part that they share with their mate and the part that they share
with their soul mate. Therefore two distinct sets of needs are
met by two distinct relationships.