Enter Drawing for Harboring Hope for Free

Welcome to Affair Recovery's Harboring Hope Monthly Drawing. We want to know you. We want to serve you. This means we want to hear from you!

The first step is telling us what we can do for you. Please tell us why you’d like to take Harboring Hope. If you made a comment prior to a previous registration period, that comment is still good for your entry.

Remember, submit a comment of 500 words or less about why you'd like to take the Harboring Hope course. Remember, it's a random drawing so your entry won't be based on merit or on your situation. Comments will be moderated by AR staff. Drawings will be held monthly. If you'd like more information, you can also read our official rules.


The winner for March 2024 was "Anonymous"
with the entry "Entry into Class".
Congrats!!

The winner for Feb 2024 was "Todd"
with the entry "Learning How To Grow".
Congrats,Todd!!!!

The winner for January 2024 was "DebU"
with the entry "Wash Rinse Repeat".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for December 2023 was "TonyaSue22"
with the entry "Will he ever stop".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for November 2023 was "Sara"
with the entry "Lying through EMS".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for October 2023 was "LunaR"
with the entry "Stuck and Confused".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for September 2023 was "Kindergirl"
with the entry "Not My First Rodeo".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for August 2023 was "Betrayed"
with the entry "I Need a Path Forward".
Congrats!!!!

The winner for July 2023 was "Carolyn"
with the entry "No one really understands".
Congrats, Carolyn!!!!


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Comments

I am so sorry

As the unfaithful wife, I know where your wife is at. That one foot in one out the door is where I was a year ago today! As I look back and stop to see how I reacted I realize how selfish and unloving my actions were! The only way that she will ever see the damage she has caused/is causing is to cut ties with the AP. Completely! While I kept communication lines open with my AP I couldn't see beyond the length of my outstretched hand! But, a few months after severing any and all communication and doing the EMS online, things began to clear up. Right now she's living in a "fog" or a dream life, she has the AP which is the pretend life she's living and then you and your family which is reality. Sadly, she can't truly see the damage her actions are causing you and your children.
A year later, I have serious regrets over my actions. I cannot believe I was that person! I cannot believe that I listened to the AP's smooth talking and lies. When you are in the affair you think the world of your AP, you think that all he is saying is truth when majority of what he is telling you is just a lie. It's sad that after all these years I would have fallen for some of the oldest tricks in the book. I don't know your wife but I do know where I stood just twelve months ago.
Is everything better? Is our marriage completely restored? Sadly, no. But it doesn't change over night. I realize that I am the problem. It is my own insecurities and selfishness that drove me to do the unfathomable!
I hope and pray that she sees the light. Hang in there!

I am so sorry - thank you

Thank you sarte927. Your perspective is very helpful, as you look back at yourself just a year ago.
It’s helpful to hear your perspective, now 12 month ahead. I dream we'll be in your position in a year. That you struggled to cut the communication for a period of time is helpful to hear. This is where we are. My emotional stability gets rocked, of course, with every discovered text, close encounter at work, etc. Incredibly, I caught her in route trying to connect with her AP just last week! Emotional disaster I am. I struggle to focus because I've contracted an unwanted and debilitating case of A.D.D. Despite the great emotions and pain, my challenge is find peace and patience despite the risk that my wife further defies me. Thanks again.

Losing Hope.

A year through EMS and I am still struggling. I'm finally starting to see that it is I who is keeping our marriage from flourishing. Unless I change there is no hope. My husband has been loving and patient but this is enough. He tolerated my affairs, he has tolerated my nasty attitude, my negativity, and my controlling personality. But how do I change those ways? When all your life you've thought one way and come to find that that way is wrong how does one change? I love my husband with all my heart and truly want to change but don't know where to start.
My parents really did a number on me and I believed everything they said. Now, I still believe their ways are right even though it's been proven to be wrong. How do I lose the thoughts that have been drilled into my head by my parents and follow my husband? How do I honor him and regain his love? All this negativity is crippling. It takes hold of me on a daily basis and controls me.
We just had a set of twins 7 weeks ago and between marriage recovery, trying to be a good wife and mom, going back to work, and trying to change I'm overwhelmed. I need help.
I'm hoping that HH will be that light at the end of the tunnel that will help me change. I have the drive to I just don't know where to start.

Hello. I am weeks away from a

Hello. I am weeks away from a divorce. My husband (whom I desperately wish would consider reconciliation) has been having an affair/relationship with a woman for about 6 years. We have been married for 23 years, have 3 grown and suffering children, and have a comfortable lifestyle; all of which he is throwing away.
For two years, I have unsuccessfully tried to invite him to come home to his family even though she is everything that he has always belittled. He refuses to consider it. His spends less and less time with my children (down to a few hours a month). He feels that our children are “on board” with him having a new family; he is never around when they weep, or refuse to go to school, to hear their angry ranting. I mean nothing to him – he sees me as the nanny, housekeeper, and accountant.
I am out of hope. The dreams and plans we had, are shattered. My children are ghosts of themselves. I would appreciate your exercises in Harboring Hope to help me and my children move on from his years of deceit and emotional destruction. Perhaps we can learn to accept what he has done and stop imagining his scraps of attention as signs that he wants to return; I need to reinforce the harbor I have been trying to create for my children – to better keep them safe from this storm

Strapped to His Parachute

I've been married for 24 years and have spent most of my adult life completely devoted to my God, my husband, and my children. I am a 49 year-old homeschooling mother of six. I never thought that my husband would take our God-ordained marriage and cash it in for twos full-fledged affair and a couple of cheap one-night stands. One month ago, he admitted to having an affair while I was pregnant and very, very ill (life-threatening). Right after Christmas he admitted to the one-night stands, and after New Year's I found out he is currently having an affair and has been since Thanksgiving. After each admission, he told me there was nothing else to reveal. The betrayal is so painful and so real that some days I literally fall to my knees.

We are paying the price for his sinfulness and selfishness. He refuses to end his current affair and actually believes that he is not having an affair because "considers himself single". He shows almost no remorse or regret for the previous indiscretions. He will not consider reconciliation and I feel forced to get a divorce even though it is against my personal convictions.

I am praying that this Harboring Hope group would provide me with the support and strength I need to navigate waters that I never thought I'd be sailing on. I feel like my kids and I are strapped to my husband's parachute and we are in a free fall. I want to be the "one in a thousand" marriages that finds hope, healing and restoration, the one that God uses for His glory and helps others. But my husband has also walked away from his faith and as I said before will not consider reconciliation.

I need hope

I found out about my husband's affair when my 11 year old son saw a text he was sending to his AP and told me. That night, I asked a lot of questions and found out he had met this girl on Facebook and been talking to her via text and on the phone for about 2 months. He told me he'd never met her. She lives out of town, so that was believable. We were working things out for about a month. I was working through things but still having some challenges. At one point, I remembered he had an overnight work trip in a town very near and specifically asked him again if he had seen her in this trip, and he again told me no. A little over a month after the original D-day, the reall D-day hit when his AP sent me a message telling me she had spent the night with him when he was in town. I'm crushed and I feel like I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like my marraige of 13 years is all a lie. I need help picking up the pieces. How can I ever trust again?

Lost on how to process everything and not get stuck...

Our marriage was a mess. In some ways I see hope I haven't seen since longer than I can remember. On the other hand, I don't know how to process the shock, the pain, the deceit, the double life, the lies, the reality. I know enough to know that things can't 'go back' - I wouldn't want them to. We both need to change for our marriage to not only survive but thrive. But how? We've been to a marriage intensive. We have a marriage and infidelity counselor but it seems like the process is so slow. We are scheduled to meet for 3 hours once every 3 weeks because it is an hour and a half drive. We are both trying hard in our own ways but we are clearly not capable of doing this on our own - even with the best of intentions. Look where those got us!? I feel like I am able to be 'in the moment' and then before I know it I am sinking into a pit of pictures in my head, thoughts of what he did - and everywhere he did - it's everywhere. I feel like if we don't get more help or the right help we will 'go back' and I can't survive that any longer.

Too painful to stay; Too painful to leave

i discovered my husband's 4 year affair with a co-worker almost two years ago. We have 3 young boys ages 3, 6, and 10. The affair started when I was pregnant with my middle child and last through my 3 rd pregnancy and was discovered when my youngest was 18 months old. At the time, my husband blamed me..but it has never made sense to me. I wasn't perfect but I was ALWAYS left alone with the kids. He worked nights with his affair partner in a hospital. I work full time days and was always with the kids. His Job was his cover. Around the time of discovery we found out OW was pregnant. Don't know if the OC is my husbands or not. He has made no effort to find out. He is completely hiding from all of this. Know one in our family knows. I am tired of keeping his secrets. He is unremorseful, but wants to stay married. I am losing my mind. I still love my husband but I can't stay if he won't help me heal. I am not aure he will ever get it. I would love to do Harboring Hope, just for me. To heal me. I just want to be the best mom possible to my 3 little boys.

Broken Together

A week ago my marriage and world were turned upside down. I found out that my husband of twenty years has had multiple affairs throughout our marriage.

My initial reaction was to run far away from the pain and the marriage. However, we have a bond that goes beyond marriage…three amazing young boys. My faith and my children helped me to think rationally after the initial shock. I feel I need a place to be able to be open and work through the thoughts and emotions that are continually invading my mind alongside others who are going through similar struggles. In my search for a support group I came across your website. Thanks and God Bless you for creating a safe group for people to heal from infidelity!

need help healing

I am one month post discovery of a 3yr affair between my husband and his secretary. at first we made an effort to save our marriage but he is now no longer interested and is now able to continue their relationship without hiding anymore. we have lost almost everything--job/income, church support system, family and social stability and even all our vehicles due to some illegal financial activities they were involved in. he has moved out and I filed for divorce to separate myself from him financially. we are trying to get along well enough to parent our last child (6yrs old) still in the home, but he only takes cursory responsibility for the devastation, and refers more to how i drove him to want to get out of our marriage years ago (it's true i have been unforgiving at times, ive confessed it). i would love to have a do over, and see our marriage restored. i am making sincere effort to create a safe environment for him--how jacked up is that? I need perspective and good advice from people who have walked this out.

A Time for Decision

After learning of the depth of my husband's sexual addiction for 30 years, I was devastated. The time has come for me to finally have a REAL life whether my husband stays sober or not.
NO ONE IS GOING TO BLOCK ME FROM LIVING IN THE PEACE, CONTENTMENT, and LOVE that I KNOW
CHRIST died and rose again to gain and secure for ME.

STUCK

I would love to participate in Harboring Hope because I am stuck in hatred for my husband's AP, and struggling with the desire to punish my husband for the ugliness that he chose. Praying the machine picks me!!!

Not sure if I can do this

Initial discovery of my husband's affair was 18 months ago. It was devastating. I made the decision to stay in the marriage and work for improvement. I also made the decision to tell only one friend of the family and to keep the affair secret from everyone else. Too many people whose lives are attached to ours would be hurt, especially the kids. I have carried the pain alone (at times I thought I would die and sometimes wanted to), but I've worked hard to forgive, to heal and to improve myself in the process.

I had just begun to feel normal again, flooding happened rarely, self-confidence was returning WHEN a second affair came to light. The affair was more than ten years ago, but it was with my BEST FRIEND! It is as though the last 12 years of my marriage have been a sham. My husband and my friend have kept this secret for all these years. The life I thoight I had was an illusion. I'm dying here.
We did the first-steps boot camp together and I have committed to telling no one (only the same one family friend) while we take some time to determine if I can go on in this marriage. The greatest reason to stay is our children. I do not want this pain for them. But I need help! I am so alone and lost in the pain and the darkness. I think this course might provide the support I need and honestly, I don't have the money to pay for it :-(

Am nearing the end

I took the EMS course, and I had hoped to find some hope on how to heal within my marriage. The weekend is a great course, and I highly recommend it. I now would like a chance with Harboring Hope for myself.

HARBORING HOPE DRAWING

After completing the couples 13 week program, I am hoping to continue my journey with the HH. The support of the small group will greatly help be continue to heal from my husband's affairs. I am better but far from healed and I would be thrilled to have my name pulled in the drawing. Thank you.

Hope needed.

I would love to so the harboring hope program because the community feeling and bond with the group I have been with on line has helped me heal more than any book or councilor. I know the rules say it is a random drawing but I think we can all learn from each other's stories so this is mine.
I have been married for almost 23 years. We dated for 3 years before marriage. I have a family history (as does my husband) that involved affairs and divorce. My history also involves childhood sexual abuse and abandonment along with lots of family disfunction. I discovered my husbands most current affair through text messages. This affair was with an old high school flame that started after he ran into her at a gas station. The affair lasted 6-7 months. Was emotional and sexual. Actually before discovery he asked me for a divorce. The old I love you but I am not in love with you. Devastated does not even begin to explain how I felt. This man has been my whole life. A few weeks after I discovered this affair he confessed that this was not his first affair. This was his third. The first occured during our second year of marriage and the second occured during our 11th year of marriage. So my present was blown to bits and my history has been built on betrayal. All of this reopened wounds from my past and has made recovery very difficult to say the least. My self esteem has taken the largest hit and seems to be the area I am struggling in the most. I have been diagnosed with PTSD. We are currently in Councliing and using the tools from affair recovery. Because of the cost of all this I am not sure I can afford the program. I am submitting my entry and praying that if It is Gods will my name will be drawn. Thank you.

Hope for Healing-Drawing

We are in the 11th week of the EMS online course. The course has helped us in several ways.

Yet, I am in need for further guidance / assistance, as I am still stuggling to wrap my head around who his affair was with. His AP was his ex wife.

Discovery was January 2, 2014, or should I say that was firstly date of discovery when I was told of the affair by the AP. There as been several more D'days since the first. Although I had been told " you know it all"

In addition to more details about the affair he revealed his has a sexual addiction. I had tried prior to EMS to deal with the pain and hurt on my own and found that to be impossible.

I am thankful we are in the course but didn't see it coming he has an addiction too.

I feel Hope For Healing would continue aide in my/our recovery.

correction

Harboring Hope not Hope for Healing

My Family Needs Hope

We are a family of 5. My husband's sexual addiction kept us in pain for years. In many ways, he was more of a child than the children.
He cheated and lied while i raised 3 children. 1 with ADHD and 2 with Autism.
We have reached a point of no return. This is the final few months after facing bankruptcy that he got serious about the Lord, recovery, and marriage.
I have got to be healthy for me and them if he decides not to follow through. I'm at the end of the road. His addiction has cost me my youth, hopes, and dreams.
Thank you for being here.

Please pick me, Machine!!!

I am back, trying again for registration for Harboring Hope!!! I am six months out from my husband's affair, which happened in between two second trimester miscarriages. I need to work through the pain and anger of betrayal, so I can fully commit to move forward in healing with my husband.

Feeling Hopeless

After being married for nearly 20 years, I discovered my husband was having an affair again. I had caught him already in several but he swore they were never sexual. I was so ignorant. We got married young and started a family right away. We struggled but I never once thought of cheating. He confessed that he had multiple afairs about 4 years ago but will not share the details. It took my leaving and filing for a divorce for him to confess. Not only am I humiliated in our small town by his affairs with some women i know but he tried to hook up with my son's future mother in law AND sister in law. I cry almost daily as I struggle with the pain his infidelity and mistrust has caused. I feel hopeless, humiliated, embarrassed and worthless. I desperately need help!!!

Why I want to take Harboring Hope

My husband and I have been struggling with the recovery process for 2 years. We have been struggling mostly due to not having the right tools or information to approach recovery in a healthy manner. Marriage counseling has been cost prohibitive and the counselor we could afford took the approach of "just stick it out" without actually arming us with the knowledge or tools we needed to make the changes necessary to heal the marriage or avoid future infidelity. Everything we've learned from Affair Recovery has been helpful, but we cannot afford to take the actual courses. I feel that if we could take the courses, we would be much better armed & educated to save our marriage & make it into the mutually loving & respectful relationship that we both want.

Post EMS

My wife and I just attended EMS weekend and it was amazing. Even though I am not sure where our marriage will go from here, I feel we both received the guidance and support necessary to start healing ourselves. We need continued support and connection with other couples and thought we would enter this drawing. I'm looking to connect with other betrayed husbands to share and support one another during this long journey.

Harboring hope for free

My husband and I are currently taking the EMS online and it is a Godsend. His passive aggression and controlling behavior is destroying me. I hope I am chosen for the free harboring hope for free.

How about "Hope for Healing"

I just wanted to add that in a marriage there are two and in the case of infidility the two are broken in order to heal that marriage it takes both to become healthy to have any hope. I am the faithful spouse and have read many of the post hear and as ll are worthy of the gift and what makes it even tougher is that me the husband am doing well but I can tell my wife still struggles with what has happened. She is still to this day almost two years later unable to talk about what happened just shuts right down. How can we really build a safe and hopefully marriage unless we both kind of know why and how things happened. My wife knows she has problems we went through EMSO but the other couple with the unfaithful wife dropped out well before the end along with one of other couples started MFL and both the other two couples filed for divorce. We have 5 kids who do not know the youngest special needs two in college she does not work we home school so there is no money for anything else
I know my wife would do the course if it was a gift but she would refuse it we had to spend money on it. Any way I just hope thst maybe in the future you might want to add a gift of "Hope for Healing " because sometimes the inner pain of the unfaithful one can add to the pain of the faithful also.
Thank You for the gifts you have shared with so many.
David

Hope is fading

I have been married 19 years, but the last 10 years we drifted apart. D-day for me was about 2 years ago when I discovered my wife was having a 3 year affair. Over the past 2 years I have turned my trust over to God by seeking him with ally heart. I have also sought any and all information I could on the subject. My wife at times says we should start our relation over, but most of the time its lets live to gather as friends till the kids are gone. We get along great, but has no love for me either now or before the affair. Every time I have suggested we do something to work on our marriage she has said she needs time to heal. I now have two pastors because I started attending another church due to the shame I felt and the pain from seeing her AF partner. I'm also in a few small men's groups, but I still have no one I can really talk to about the affair that understands what I'm going through and cycle through my time of losing hope.

Processing the Pain

I am a little over a month out from D day. My husband confessed to an affair with an intern at work while we were lying in bed with my 5 month old son was sleeping in my arms. We were having open and honest conversation that morning and he couldn't hold it in any longer. He had been sleeping with her while I was pregnant (that in itself was so devastating) and continued to do so well after our son was born. We have only been married a little over 2 years.
My husband has done everything he can do to show me that he wants to be with me and our son, including quitting his job so that he was no longer around the AP. I see how hard he is working with therapy, our couples therapy, church counseling, and at home, but it is doing nothing to take away the pain that I am feeling. I'm dealing with a lot of rage towards the AP- I had met her at multiple work events, she would always approach me and chat, I thought she was very nice and was not threatened by her at all. Turns out she was in love with my husband the whole time wanting to further their relationship. My husband has repeatedly confessed no emotional connection to her whatsoever. He came into the marriage with a sex addiction that he has been dealing with since a young boy, of which I knew nothing about.

I just... it's so much. How do you move on? Will things ever not be painful? Should I work through this with him or is it too much of a risk? How do I deal with hating another person so much I wish them dead?? I don't feel like myself anymore, everything is so surreal. I would love some insight from women who have found healing and can offer me tangible evidence of hope. I want my marriage to see restoration.

Struggling

D-day (first affair) was just over 2 1/2 years ago. I had my suspicions and finally read some emails from his AP. I confronted him, we talked, I wept and struggled to,understand why. He did answer most of my questions, we started therapy and we're trying to build back our marriage. Four months later I had more suspicions that there was more going on, call it my gut instinct. Well, I found another email from a different AP. He denied, I fell apart and after talking all night long he said he had told me everything, there was nothing else. I still had my gut feeling that it wasn't all and after asking him to swear to God that were not more, he assured me there was not. My gut told me otherwise and i pressed him further. He finally confessed that he was having affairs with all three women all over the same 2 year period. What do I do now? It's been 28 months and I'm still struggling with all of this. For him it's over and he doesn't want to address my struggles and in my mind I'm not sure it's a "safe" relationship and what will happen. If he is getting impatient with my triggers and how this still affects me - we need further help!

continued healing

I would like to be entered into the drawing so that I can afford to heal. My husband and I have done the EMSO and it has helped, but we realize more assistance is needed. I would love to take Harboring Hope and my husband wants to take the course for men. Our issue is financial. It would make a huge difference to have assistance with the cost of the programs.

How do I get him to tell the truth?

I am trying to make my marriage work after years of affairs. My husband says he wants it to and does a few things but I still catch him in lots of lies.

Need hope

My husband of 30 years confessed to a three year affair with another woman in a city he travels to. D day was May 23rd which is also my second son's birthday. He told me because his AP got caught. My husband has also made many mistakes with our money and being picked for this would be a huge help. I need hope for saving our marriage and I think this could help.

Harboring hope for free

In a hopeless situation.

Sad

I would love to take the Harboring Hope course so that I will have another resource to help in my recovery. My spouse is ambivalent. I would like to make it work. I love him and I love our 2 young children. I can't make him reciprocate, but I can take action to heal myself.

HELP

Our family never felt quite right. My husband was a hard worker, but never pleased, sullen, angry. I need to get better. Because of the trauma of his issues with Sexual Addiction, I have PTSD, and most of my days are spent in bed, or visiting a doctor for my related ailments.
My dreams are awash. I'm just hanging on to God at this point.
Thanks for being here

continuing to heal

My husband and I would love the course to be able to continue to heal and also learn more, so can encourage others going through similar situations. We are both continuing to heal.

Feeling so bitter

Looking for something to help pull me from this darkness.

Tired and overwhelmed with the effort

Without going into too much detail, my husband had a very emotive and intense emotional affair which I discovered just before it went too physical. Having a hard time moving on from this to a place of forgiveness for a man who was prepared to throw his relatively happy marriage and family away for someone else. He verbalised this to her of her being his choice . He is however sorry now. But it doesn't fix or heal things. I feel discarded and worthless to him for him to so easily throw away20+ years of faithfulness, commitment and love. Life is just so difficult now.

Is there really hope?

I found out about my husbands affair in December of 2014. He lied and swore to me it was only emotional but I knew that wasn't the full truth. The truth came out through a series of smaller confessions. Each one brought me to a lower point I didn't think possible. It's been 8 months since the initial discovery. I don't want to be divorced but cannot find any hope that he will make the efforts to truly restore my trust and rebuild a new marriage with me. Most days, he doesn't seem to care. If there isn't any hope for my marriage how can I find hope for myself and my children. I'm lost in a sea of horrible depression and nothing seems to help me find the hope and strength i so desperately need.

Feeling hopeless and hoping for healing

I'm eight months into this hopeless nightmare. I hope the computer picks me. P.S. Here is to all our lives healing.

Losing Hope

Its been two years since d day and my wife still just won't to be freinds. I'm about to give up and get on with my life.

Drawing for Harboring hope

After 4 years of his gas lighting and abusive continual lying I need help to not hate this man I have been married to since 1980 his serial cheating and lying and hate filled words said to me and said behind my back he even wanted our 8 children to hate me. I need help as my heart has turned to stone.

Long Term Adultery

I discovered my husbands adultery with a supposed friend of mine Aug. 1, 2013. I confronted him and he said he and the adultery co-conspirator had been at it for 1 1/2 to 2 years. The Adultery Co-conspirator has been involved in our lives for over 30 years, prior to our marriage. The Adultery Co-conspirator was in my home for many events. I have told my WS that I can't look back on any of the past since I don't know if the Adulterous Co-conspirator was ever my friend or always out for my WS. I can't begin to even look at pictures or try and remember good times, since the adulterous co-conspirator was so very intertwined along with her betrayed family with ours. What a huge waste. I could use help with healing from this huge mess that two very selfish people created.

Harboring Hope

I am writing this out of a sense of total desperation. My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He had an affair in 2011 and i thought he had stopped seeing her, but later found out that he continued to see her. Their affair was about 7 months or so. He filed for divorce, but later rescinded it. I moved out of the house for a year. We have 3 children.

I have tried so hard and sacrificed so much, and in many respects, we have been closer than before. However, I still feel the pain as if it was yesterday.

I responded now because of your recent article. I just know the pain continues to be more than I can take. I don't know when he's lying to me. How can I be in a marriage with someone like that? I have forgiven him. I don't want him to suffer and I don't think he owes me anything. I still get triggers and I still see them together even after all this time. I don't see how anyone ever regains the trust. Yes, he is open and tells me everything, but he is so good at lying.

It's like it all happened yesterday. I don't know how to get rid of this pain. I've prayed and prayed and been in therapy and talked to my pastor, but I'm so lost, I feel like I can't cope anymore.

PLEASE HELP!

It has been a year since I first found messages to the AP. First flirting, then more. Basically, exactly what you outline in your article here:
https://www.affairrecovery.com/newsletter/founder/online-affairs-tweetin...

After 15 years of being together and coming up on our 14 year anniversary, three kids, house, dog, etc. we've had the roughest year of our marriage.
A year later the texting and messaging is still going strong (with other parties), because she doesn't see it as harmful (or doesn't respect our relationship enough for it to matter). Our marriage wasn't perfect, and we both needed to invest more into it, but checking out at this point isn't going to make matters better. She has withdrawn from all our church friends and has surrounded herself with people that are encouraging her to live for herself.
As of writing this, we're still no closer to resolve than we were a year ago. We're stalled and she's locked up and has locked me out.
Something like your Harboring Hope program I feel may be the only way to get things pointed in the right direction. We need the encouragement of others that have made it through rough spots and come out stronger on the other side. We both need a positive support group around us (something that's hard to do that with people we know because things become too personal).
We recently bought a new house, so we don't have the funds to pay for this on our own.
We need help and can only hope we are chosen. God is good and I will continue to stand in a posture of restoration and healing. Until then, hope and faith in God are all I have.
Thank you!

We had just "graduated" from

We had just "graduated" from both individual and couples therapy 18 months post D-day and were doing much better. Then I found out that most of what my wife had told me about her affair was untrue, that what I had been working to recover from was just the tip of the iceberg, and that she has been deeply deceitful throughout our supposed recovery, including having made new wedding vows that promised no more secrets and lies. Hard to see from here what good could be made out of a marriage after all this. I still think it would be good for our kids to raised in a stable household of two parents, but it was so hard the first time around and it's been hard to muster up the energy and will to take this on again, and so hard to build anything new when I have no trust in anything she says anymore. Feels so much easier at this point to just start over elsewhere. Maybe harboring hope would help?

Feeling stuck

Being the betrayed is such a lonely situation to be in. I would love to join a Harboring Hope group to help me cope.

At least this is real

Now I know why he never could quite commit let alone propose. We were not married but I thought we were so close ... People thought we were married.
He is still my best friend but this is going no where and I should leave. He started counseling which really did not help and fell away from it. He has made changes but I do not trust them. We are trapped in a vicious cycle. It is like we both know the only way out is through but the GPS has no signal.

could this be the last straw?

my life was blown apart when I discovered my husband's affairs. I then was also re-traumatized a year into recovery when I discovered his very ugly past (pre marriage). I would run for the hills despite having had what I believed a very beautiful passionate, loving marriage. (not knowing he had led this very secret dark life and was a master deceiver). The only reason I want to try HH is for the sake of my beautiful children who I have been able to shield as much as possible from this devastation up to this point. My marriage is dead. Our family is intact and it breaks my heart that my innocent children will have to be crushed and traumatized if I end it all. HH would be my last attempt at trying to see if this can be saved - for my precious children's sake who deserve every fighting chance at a normal life.

No Pain too Deep

I am a year and a half out from discovery and still the marriage is in shambles. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Feel so alone

Praying I am picked for the HH course. Today it's been 4 months since D-day and I'm anxious and hopeless. Support would be a life line.

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