Thank you Lynn for this very timely blog. I have been grieving. Grieving for the marriage I lost, the dream, the what I thought would never happen happening. I don't think my husband understands the deep sense of loss that I have. He tries. See he was my knight in shining armor that rode in and saved me, mostly from my own destructive behaviors. He saw something in me I never saw in myself. Our relationship provided me with a self worth I had never know before and now I am so unsure of everything. I am sure most women feel the same way that I have, that their husbands would never do this to them. I grieve for the husband that I lost. I grieve for the father that my daughter lost. (She found out by accident). Working through the grief once the initial shock and pain has subsided is the struggle I was not prepared for.

I listened to you at Hope Rising. I believe I was still in shock after being 11 days past my UH’s polygraph. His polygraph revealed so many more layers of infidelity including SA. Now, a couple months later, after the Hope Rising conference day, a recent attendance at an EMS Intensive weekend, continuing with my after HH group calls with a strong group of ladies, and starting our after EMS group phone calls, I am seeing that I am still dealing with my losses going through this journey of recovery.
I wanted to be past this. I wanted to fast track this. I’m finding that I need to be patient and accepting of where I am in my recovery. I’m recognizing that I’m not willing to stuff this anymore. Thank you for helping me see this.