Getting to Know Our EMS Weekend Therapists: Leigh Ashley - Part One Codependency

Today, one of our EMS Weekend therapists, Leigh Ashley, discusses a key component in recovery work: codependency.

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Is it the same for the Unfaithful?

This hit home for me. Thank you. I think I’ve been co-dependent for much of my life. I find myself always depending on someone else for my happiness. In my case, I’m the unfaithful and my husband refuses to get help. Even before the affair, I was always working to please him and get his attention. He was very withdrawn. He is a workaholic and gambles to ease his stress. I became very resentful and felt rejected a lot of the time. I was and now am happy if he is/was nice to me, if he sleeps with me, if we’re intimate, if he spends time with me, if he communicates with me. If none of these things happen, I’m anxious and depressed. I can’t go on this way anymore. This was eye opening to me. I need to be in control of my own happiness separate from him.

I am the betrayed spouse, but

I am the betrayed spouse, but i think it is the same for the Unfaithful..yes!! My spouse gave Himself permission to act out, instead.of reach out. He was dependent on me, for his happiness, and when i couldn't supply the overwhelming amount of affirmation , he secretly slipped away. Ended up in a codependent relationship with one woman for years, until reality set in. This is not a female only ,.or betrayed only , struggle..

What type of affair was it?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas