Samuel discusses infidelity and how to detox from an affair partner.
Samuel helps both spouses understand how to address blind spots in repair work.
Sometimes, my thoughts are punishing, my brain on fire.
Have you experienced this?
I am someone who deserves to be understood and cherished rather than criticized and improved.
It is time to arrest the process of depletion caused by the trauma I have suffered. It's time to stop ignoring my body's signals and instead allow them the authority to teach me about myself, time to keep my life as simple and quiet as possible, to allow myself comforts of the senses and small pleasures:
Samuel answers the question: "What does it mean to own it in repair work?"
Samuel answers the question of whether the betrayed spouse should be farther along than they are.
Unfaithful Spouses,
You have been working really hard. Since discovery, you have received a chance at a new life, and you are determined to change your behavior. You want to see crumbs of hope in your marital relationship, but all you see is pain. What is likely underneath that pain is a violation so deep that you might not even be able to comprehend it for the first year.
Maybe you feel shut out as your betrayed spouse acts in ways you don't think are beneficial. Perhaps you don't...
Samuel shares insight from his own personal journey on finding personal healing and restoration.
Samuel answers a popular question from betrayed spouses.
Samuel discusses what contempt does to couples who are trying to heal from infidelity or addiction.
Samuel shares critical insight for both the unfaithful and betrayed spouse who are trying to heal.
Samuel discusses what to do when couples feel stuck.
Samuel answers a question from an unfaithful spouse.
Today, my heart is reminded of the pain that once was, the pain that so many of you find yourselves in today. For me, it is a distant, tender scar. It is healing, but if I stare at it long enough or touch it in just the right ways, the pain can all come rushing back.
If you are in the middle of this kind of suffering, you are likely desperate for relief of any kind. Violently painful memories have carved your heart into pieces, and maybe you can't even remember what life looked like before this whirlwind of torment...
Samuel discusses a trap many spouses fall into when they feel their spouse won't change.
Samuel discusses a pitfall many spouses fall into after the discovery of infidelity or addiction.
Samuel provides direction for those who feel they can't be happy again.
Samuel shares encouragement and perspective for those who are trying to heal.
"Wondering if I will come to a happy place in surrender to self-care. Surrender to me. Myself. And I. Self-talk, positive affirmations of my worth. It's my time now. My season of me. I've given and given and given. No time for guilt over self-care anymore. Over rediscovering who I was…who I am apart from my spouse. I really am still me. How wonderful that she, the little girl inside, has not been extinguished?
Even through the incredible trauma of...
Samuel discusses a toxic struggle both unfaithful and betrayed spouses fall into.
Samuel shares a humorous but poignant story about shame and self hatred.
Samuel discusses tools to help the unfaithful and betrayed spouse heal despite fear of uncertainty.
Samuel shares a common mistake he would often make with Samantha that kept them stuck.
These are words that I have had to unlearn and relearn—words that I thought I knew, but now realize I misunderstood for most of my life. Now, they actually mean something to me.
Growing up, I would attend church with my mom and siblings. I had just enough of a smattering of church "sayings" and knowledge about the Bible to become familiar with them. But honestly, there was far more I did not understand than what I did understand. Most of the time, when I went...
Samuel shares tips on battling depression after disclosure of infidelity or addiction.
Samuel interviews Rob about his life before, during, and after his wife's infidelity.
Before what we in the infidelity community call "D-day," my life was full—full of gratitude, challenges, and mostly good. My life was nowhere near perfect—punctuated with the losses one experiences when we are lucky enough to live long enough. I had lived a largely intact existence blessed with friends, a beautiful place to call home, and good food on my table.
As a function of my positive, benefit-of-the-doubt...
This is a question that almost all of us have asked or heard at some point during recovery from infidelity. It might have been screamed in anger, or muttered in a barely audible cry of exasperation. And it is a question we often hear over and over again, "How could you?" It is a good question, and it lies at the heart and sum of all of the pain created when people like me have affairs. It is as if we look to the heavens and we cry out in our pain, a guttural "why?"
While...
Samuel interviews Melanie, an unfaithful female spouse, about her journey of unfaithfulness and restoration.
Samuel discusses doing hard things in repair work.
To forgive somebody is to say one way or another "You have done something unspeakable, and by all rights I should call it quits between us. Both my pride and my principles demand no less. However, although I make no guarantees that I will be able to forget what you have done, and though we will both carry the scars for life, I refuse to let it stand between us. One day, I...
