Affair Recovery

If you have a heart attack or are diagnosed with cancer, it is treated with seriousness and urgency. No one says "try not to think about it," "focus on good things" or "just let it go." No. The doctor sits you down and refers you to a team of helpful, trained professionals who are lined up to draft a plan with realistic expectations, answer your questions, and assist and support you until you are healed.

The recovery plan is laid out for you. You are given step-by-step instructions and a contact person, or a team of experts, to guide you through it to the end. No one would expect you to know...

When we allow our inner world to resonate with our partner’s inner world, we can discover a new level of empathy, oneness and overall reconciliation. Dr. Dan Siegel calls this concept "attunement". When we feel heard by our partner, and our inner pain is not...

When you are walking through a difficult chapter after infidelity, addiction or another significant crisis, you are likely looking for a few things: healing, peace of mind, clarity, understanding, personal restoration and perhaps even relational restoration. Ultimately, what we really want is transformation. We want this agony to be transformed into healing and joy.

We have a choice: We can either transmit our pain or we can transform it. We can do the recovery work that we need to do, we can get the expert help that we need...

When devastation hits, we embark upon this journey of survival. We begin to wonder, “How do I survive this enormous amount of pain and trauma I’m in? How do I make it through to the other side?” Sometimes, we may even wonder, “How do I make it through today?” What I have found in my own healing from and surviving infidelity efforts is that I’m doing two things simultaneously: learning and unlearning.

As the amazing author Richard Rohr says, when we are in midlife, we are both learning and...

"How could I have been so stupid?" Anyone who's been betrayed has thought this, felt this and owned this at some point in time. But take it from me: You are not stupid.

Adding salt to the wound of betrayal is a series of self-doubt about who we are, what we are and how we are. After betrayal, we can doubt our value as a spouse and as a person, and we can doubt our intelligence and intuition. When we learn we've been tricked and deceived by the person we love, we can even turn on ourselves and join the proverbial pack of self-hating lions, devouring any shred...

I think anybody who's gone through infidelity comes to the point where they ask themselves:

"Is there ever a time when there's too much damage to try and recover from...

The other day, I had someone reach out to me and say, "Sam, what are we to do now? How do we not, I hate to say it, end up like...

Today, I want to talk to you about a major turning point that happens in all of our lives. This turning point is going to challenge some of you, and it's OK to be challenged in your affair recovery timeline. This turning point is the day when we hold ourselves accountable for our own healing. When I made the shift and began to hold myself accountable for my own recovery, it changed my life, it changed my healing and it changed my heart. At the core of personal recovery work, regardless of what you're going through, is self-responsibility....

significant

adjective

Important; of consequence....