Q&A Can We Heal Even When He Still Can’t Give Me a Full Account of His Affair?

Submitted by Leslie_Hardie Wed, 01/20/2021 - 09:58

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

D-Day was 12 years ago. My husband has gaslit, lied, and trickle truthed his way over the years. Now that it has been so long ago, he says he doesn’t remember any details. We found Affair Recovery, have been doing the bootcamp, and watching videos. We both signed up for the group sessions. I’m so angry now. I’ve been patient for 12 years. Now that he's working on it, he's been giving new information about other indiscretions. I’ve been flooding, raging and I’m so angry, I want to walk away. Can we heal even when he still can’t give me a full account of his affair?

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

whats the "trying to remember" look like?

Submitted by [name hidden] on

It feels much like an out when he says " I don't know" or I don't remember" and because "I don't remember it must have not been that bad." That is not helpful. The simple fact there was anything is in itself bad.

I would love to replace my thinking that he is choosing to not remember, with something more helpful for my recovery in the long run, but that feels like releasing him from responsibility of his actions. Someone has to give in- but who? Me? the one who has already given so much?

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

What to read next

Q&A How Can I Heal When I Still Feel I Don't Have Full Disclosure and May Never Get It?
Q&A How Do I Erase the Intrusive Thoughts?
Q&A Is It Really Possible for a Man to Fall Back in Love with His Wife If He Was in Love with His Affair Partner?
Q&A How Do I Respect My Husband Again or Decide If I Really Want to Stay Knowing We May Never Be Fully Healed?
Q&A What Can I Do, as the Betrayed, to Try and Get Closure?

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
Learn More
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas