My husband and I have been together for 35 years. We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this summer 3 months after my discovery that he was having an affair with a very young woman. It was a first and fairly brief emotional affair with one physical encounter. I discovered the affair very shortly after the sexual encounter so there was no chance for subsequent meetings. My husband has spent a lifetime using avoidance and compartmentalization to deal, or not deal, with difficult emotions, circumstances and poor self-image. We went through EMS Online and I am currently in Harboring Hope. Through these 8 months since the original discovery there have been several subsequent discoveries and trickle truth. He is 100% contrite and trying to work with me; he takes full responsibility. The problem is he cannot remember significant portions of what happened. We were able to identify the shame, and his inability to face the full spectrum of what he did has stunted his ability to remember. We just had this breakthrough today. We have been all through the Recovery Library and have watched and read everything that addresses this. Can you recommend any other resources? Unfortunately we have struggled to find knowledgeable therapists in our area and do not have the resources at this time. P.S. We do not come from a faith based background.