I’ve heard it said that insecurity is comparing myself with others to see how far below I am. D-Day was 16 months ago without seeking healing. I agree with what I’ve heard you say, after disclosure you’re usually not unhappy with too little information, but for asking too much. I asked if my husband’s affair partner was pretty. He gave me one physical feature of hers, which was far less desirable than myself. It’s something that’s been very important to him in judging appearance. And something I’ve worked very hard at because I’ve known how important it is to him. When I see women with this feature it feels like a belly punch. I compare myself to his affair partner in my mind and feel as if I must be so defective in my person for him to have desired her more than me. I know this is not true. Have done therapy, EMDR, spoke scripture and truth to combat the lie, and used the LIFE sequence. This one of the two remaining triggers I have fluctuates in its intrusion and intensity, but I really desire for it to totally lose its power over me. The other questions that still takes space in my brain is that I asked the specific time frame when each sexual act and meeting took place. I play scenarios in my brain about the space in between meetings to try and make it less painful, but it doesn’t work.