3 Questions:

1. how does my spouse go from talking to me daily and some days more than others and now since he has left me for the AP no more phone calls, texts or communication. I am having a hard time with being shut out completely.
2. I will have to meet the AP because we share God children and his family is my support and I don't plan to give up the bonds or relationships. I will have to meet and see the AP often- what should I say? I know what I would like to say but it is not appropriate and I would rather not come out looking like the crazy mental x-wife to be. I did ask to meet her before and she refused; however, my husband and I were trying to work it out then and she had refused because she said that I had access to their texts and email. What can I say to her and still remain with dignity intact because I don't not want to say " it is nice to meet you " because of the way her and my husband planned out their departure and that's another story in itself. 
3. How does one get over the fact that their spouse plotted against both marriages involved and even when my husband returned he had a plan to leave in a certain month. I found that email as he was packing and still lied to me directly. How can you tell if the person is directly lying or has a problem with lying?