Q&A How Do I Manage the Thoughts of Comparison?

My husband had different sexual experiences with his affair partner. Some were successful in that he climaxed, some were not. When he did, he stated they had no foreplay, no intimacy, etc., but he was still aroused instantly and able to climax. This haunts me, as I feel like she was so powerful and amazing that she barely had to touch him to make that happen. I feel worthless and like I could never measure up. In reality, this was 10 years ago, but he just disclosed, so I am also experiencing comparisons between a younger man's reaction and my husband's reaction now. We have been sexually intimate over the years, and now is probably the best we've ever been (after disclosure) but since I just learned of it, it feels like it was yesterday. I just can't handle knowing how turned on he was by her. How do I manage any of this?