Q&A How do we handle the details?
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.
Question:
I have a question about the details of the affair. I have had 3 DDays over the past 2 years, with the most recent and most painful information being shared just 2 months ago. My husband did agree to write me a full disclosure letter with lots of specific details about his affair with multiple women. It was 18 pages and very specific. As we move forward, I will have stretches of time where I feel satisfied with the details he has shared, remembering too many specifics can be more painful than is necessary. But then I have stretches of time where I actually want more details than has already been shared, not because it will change the big picture of what happened, but because I want to know everything of what happened while he was with these women; for example how he touched her, what he said to her, etc. Is it normal at this time in recovery to continue to want more and more information? Is there a way to put my mind at rest and feel satisfied with the details I do know? He is frustrated with me because he does not want to continue reliving the details and he is concerned I am continuing to just poke at my open wound by requesting more details.