What exactly does being safe look like? I recently "flooded" and shared with my husband what I was feeling and the reasons I was having those feelings. He was empathetic (or so I perceived), I felt safe and connected. The next day, he disclosed he was "irritated" by one aspect of that conversation. I now feel that the empathy I perceived was actually absent. Although he didn't show lack of empathy or defensiveness when I shared, with this new information, I felt it still was an underlying current. I felt he stopped listening, stopped truly putting himself in my shoes and turned the focus onto himself. I now am upset and disappointed that my perception about being safe was wrong.