If I grew up in an alcoholic family that was still a loving family, but I learned to detach. And then the two girlfriends I had detached from me. And after 40 years of marriage my husband detached from me and moved to the east coast for 7 yrs. to seek a job and I detached further and then later found out he'd had an 8 yr. affair. So now I'm supposed to reconnect, reattach, find oneness, etc. how do I do this? I'm comfortable with detachment. I don't feel a need to connect deeply with anyone. Am I too broken? This whole idea of this deep need we supposedly have to connect with people which is stronger than food or sex is absolutely ludicrous to me. I've survived. I've never been a positive person. I'm devastated by the 8 yr. affair which was a true loving, emotional relationship...one that I can't provide. I am now very cynical. I don't want to change back to a state of softness, and vulnerability. I'm repelled by all this weakness. Am I too broken?