I feel like we need some guidance as to how to go about full disclosure this 2nd week of EMSO. In January, my husband shared that he had an emotional affair 7 years ago. It took him 3 months to tell me the truth that it was actually quite sexual in nature from the get-go. It wasn't until we were sitting with a counselor at the end of April and going over the details of what happened between them and I was shocked beyond compare that he'd lied about the nature of their affair that it seemed he was able to take away the veil of self-deception and admit that it was sexual as well as an emotional affair. He also has since confessed that he has a fantasy/lust "life" that he hasn't shared much about with me at all. I had NO idea at all about his affair or about him having a secret thought life. It seems it doesn't fall in the category of sexual addiction, but I'm not sure. I'm guessing that he doesn't want to share with me about it because it may involve fantasizing about people that we both know. I don't know whether I should expect him to answer my questions about this or not. I have no idea how pervasive this problem is, how often this occurs, when, where, or with whom? After it took 3 months for him to disclose the truth about his affair, I am weary of his slow revelations, but I also know that I can't "un-know" anything. Will it be damaging if he has fantasies about friends of mine or is that important to know for both of us to break off this possible secret of his?