My husband had a brief relationship with a friend of mine who was also married at the time (and I was pregnant). He believes that he is the bio-dad of her daughter. He is not willing to ask for a paternity test. He doesn't want to unhinge her security. I wouldn’t hurt a child; I am just looking for the truth to help me in my own healing and decision making. The betrayal is devastating. My husband had no regard for me, my friend who I had in the delivery room with me for support had no regard for me, and upon further questioning I have learned that my husband would be willing to meet the child and have a relationship with her if she found out and wanted it. I can’t imagine a day in the future when that wouldn't open up all these wounds that I'm trying to heal right now. I believe the best course to take is a “rip the band-aid off” kind of approach; reveal the secrets, not live in fear that they’ll be exposed. Do I take a stand and demand that he find out the truth through a paternity test? If I don't make any demands, then how would you suggest I move forward with our relationship when my intuition says that this child will one day come knocking on our door (or worse, the man who thinks he is the bio dad)? I believe the truth always comes out eventually.