My spouse had an affair for 6 years and our relationship was full of disrespect and lies and coldness, which inadvertently transferred to my relationship with my in-laws. The first disclosure was 14 months ago. We have shared the infidelity with our children and other family members, but not his parents. I feel completely fake and void of intimacy around them because of our secret. Is it selfish of me to want to be honest and truthful regarding his past to improve our openness as a family? My husband does not want to share this part of his life with his parents because of the shame and guilt and he doesn't want his parents to think of him differently.