Last week, I found texts between my husband and his AP arranging to meet up when he takes a trip to his home state in March. We have been doing so well. He swears that it isn't what I think, that he is going to talk with her to tie up loose ends so that he can be all in with me. He says he didn't tell me because I made it clear that he can't talk to her, so he had to hide it and lie about it because he needs to do this. He swears he wants happily ever after with me. We have completed EMSO, HH, and H4H. I know relapse is part of the process but I have gone numb. I feel dead inside about my marriage. He is still my best friend, but knowing that he is absolutely planning on meeting up with her to talk about "them" has really impacted my feelings for my husband. I feel like something inside of me got stunned into numbness. My husband truly believes that after he gets the closure he needs, he can focus on us and make everything alright. I feel so off the grid of what I expected to be going through at this point. We have tried MC twice and had unfruitful experiences. How can I find the help I need to process what I am feeling at this point?