My wife's affair partner was a good friend of mine. We're a bit shy of 2 years from the second d-day, just before Christmas. We've both gone through EMS Online, she's done Hope for Healing, and I'm in the middle of Harboring Hope. My marriage is doing remarkably well considering the hell that was the first 2 months, but there's a few thing we can't seem to talk about without blowing up. I didn't follow the advice about no intimate contact before testing, and long story short, I have herpes and genital warts. When I bring up the fact that it's not simple for me to just quit and find somebody new because of the guilt and shame I have associated with my new found sti's, she just feels like she's the "default" choice and begins to sink into shame. It's so frustrating feeling disgusting, hurt, and undesirable to any new partners and left alone to deal with the aftermath of her decisions. I'm so lost on what to do and how to deal. I want to be there for her too, but her not being able to acknowledge and sit in my pain with me kills me. Help me please.