Q&A How Can I Keep Getting Back Up?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 01/11/2017 - 16:00

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Question: 

More trickled truth. Now, in addition to the big infidelity of prostitutes, I have massage parlor incidences and phone sex and pornography to deal with. This is the 5th revelation over a period of almost 3 months from D-Day. I'm not sure how much more I can take. After each revelation, he assures me it's all of it, then I get hit with one more thing to have to process and mentally picture. We've been through EMS and I'm in Harboring Hope. He is seeing a therapist and we were diligently working on recovery until this. Now I just don't care. He didn't share these additional extracurricular sexual activities because he thought they were insignificant in the context of the actually having intercourse with the prostitutes. I'm numb. How can I keep getting up after being knocked down again and again.

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Trickle Truth

Submitted by [name hidden] on

What if the "trickle truth" does not come out of your cheating spouse voluntarily?
What if the trickle truth of the ugly events and betrayal ONLY come out after he is caught in a lie time and time again when he has no choice but to come clean about his activity.
His answer... "I don't deny what you have found."
I have found over 25 sites where he is registered to indulge in porn, solicitation, extracurricular dating and escorts. I have located 9 e-mail aliases and 2 burner phones he kept in our garage, his desk drawer at work or his golf bag to intercept calls from prostitutes and escorts.
Now, 9 months past D-Day, counseling seems to not be working. He recently started with SAA AND PROFESSED TO EVERYONE TO BE IN RECOVERY.
Then, 3 weeks ago the other shoe dropped... again. All this time he has been voraciously consuming porn, videos an imagery and visiting escort sites "just to look" but he insists he has not acted out. I think he is lying to me and to himself when he says he did not know that only looking was bad.
He says he has hit the "re-set" button on his recovery now that he has been found out to be a liar and manipulative man once again.
He says he loves me and wants our marriage to work?
Am I just kidding myself and opening up the rest of my life to unhappiness?
Can TRUE SEX ADDICTS that have gone unchecked for 40 years... every change no matter how much they SAY love you?
And because the TRUTH is never voluntary, is there any assurance of safety, ever?

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas