Q&A How Much Disclosure Is Considered 'Full Disclosure'?
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Question
At times, I will ask the same questions about the affair to see if his answers remain the same. Tonight, I asked again about how he ended the affair and this time he changed his story. He did not come home the night of discovery. He had told me he was alone and suicidal in a hotel room. He told me tonight, that he actually picked up his affair partner around 8:00 and she spent the night with him. I spent that night alone in our home completely distraught and devastated not knowing what was going on with my husband and what was going to happen to my life and marriage. This version of how the affair ended (or the last time he actually was with this AP) was traumatizing to me and drudged up many of the same feelings I felt the night of discovery. My husband regrets telling me and coming clean with this detail. He feels that disclosing this type of detail only hurts me more and I would have to agree with him; however, I’m truly just trying to get over this! Isn’t it important for me to know the very last time he was with his AP? When will I stop asking questions? Am I asking questions to feel safe? Am I asking questions to make sure the story doesn’t change and that I can trust him again? Am I asking the right questions?
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