Q&A How Should I Handle My Spouse Threatening to Harm Me?

I recently disclosed sleeping over at another person’s house while we were just friends, and my spouse responded by threatening to mutilate me and kill me. When I said I felt unsafe, I was then told to “stop playing the victim,” and “then you can get out if you actually feel unsafe.” I was the wayward spouse, so I’m trying to be a safe place for my spouse’s anger, but am I wrong in saying that physically threatening me is unacceptable? When, where, and how do I draw the line and stand up for myself when my spouse starts to rage like this?