Everything my husband tells me about why he wouldn’t cheat on me now I think has a counter and I can’t find security in any of these affirmations. After doing EMSO he says he has tools to be a better husband and he would never cheat because he knows how much it hurt me. I’m sure he thought that before the affair too and even told me during his affair he would never cheat on me and would rather leave than cheat. He also told AP he loved her and said “we’ll get through this” during an intensely emotional point in their relationship. Problem is, he’s saying that to me during our rough patches too and he also went to a therapy session with her post-breakup to help her get over the trauma of their affair! I was gaslit for so long I feel like I can’t trust myself anymore and don’t know what to believe. My emotions are so high I fear I'm not seeing redflags and I don't trust myself to make the right decisions.