Without giving my husband an excuse for what he has done can you tell me how some other things in our life may have caused him to have an affair after 17 years of marriage? A failed back surgery had him in a lot of pain for most of that year. In May his father committed suicide. It was a complete shock, no warning signs. At that same time he was in a good deal of meds to treat the pain. He had met his AP right before his dad died. It was just business. Shortly after his dad died the lines began to "blur" on the relationship, having personal talk and him never telling me. In the past he always had if talk with a woman got personal. In October he had surgery to fix a good part of the back pain from. By then the relationship had grown but he had no contact with her while he recovered at home for three weeks. When he returned to work they picked up and it grew. He says it was all emotional. By the time it was exposed in March of this year they were talking and texting nonstop daily averaging 3,000 text and 6 hours of talk time A WEEK. From a psychological (or spiritual) point of view how did this God fearing man end up here? I hate this devastated state I stay in. I want to understand. I took care of him and stood by him, while he decided to repay me with an affair.