My husband had an affair 13 years ago that lasted 6 weeks which caused him immense shame and so he hid the affair from everyone. He began exaggerating himself to huge proportions to feel better. Since then, he turned into an ego-maniac to build his self-esteem up, which meant putting me down. There were occasions of emotional abuse, maybe not intentional, but painful for me. 10 months ago he confessed to the affair and we have been in therapy, and currently are in EMSO. He is greatly improving but I am struggling to find love for my husband and stay in our marriage. I know God gives a spouse the freedom to divorce over infidelity. I do not understand why most material, yours and others, seems to stress so heavily on staying in the marriage when as the hurt spouse, I feel I was abused. Now if this abuse was physical, I believe most counselors would tell me to leave. If it was a physical beating once a week, instead of the emotional beating I received, who would tell me to stay because he's stopped, he's trying, he loves you, work it out, and forgive him? Everyone tells a spouse to leave a physically abusive relationship but why is this chosen form of abuse- emotional - seemingly acceptable and forgivable? I have scars on my heart that are as real as any weapon could have caused, how do I forgive that and love a man who hurt me this way?