My husband just doesn't seem to understand that what we once would consider perfectly innocent messaging with female friends is now absolutely not as innocent as it once was, in light of his ability to betray our marriage vows. Recently a childhood girlfriend reached out to him "I loved your post! How is the weather up there this summer?" and he responded generically -- and didn't tell me about it. Her response in the morning showed that it literally was those three messages. But she has always reached out to him when her life is not going well. If I were to ask, he would apologize for upsetting me, show me that the message was innocent.... but he "just doesn't GET it" and would do the same thing the next time... usually after I go to sleep while he's browsing his phone before bed. I know he has no interest in her, but it's not the same anymore.