I’ve been married to a fun loving, charismatic, controlling, selfish and possibly narcissistic man for 23 years. My husbands infidelities have led to an arrest, lawsuit, and public shame. I’ve put off healing for 2 years to get through the legalities. However I have done quite a bit of personal healing, including Harboring Hope and support through church and friends. We also did EMS Weekend in March. I’ve put some boundaries in the last 2 months. First was no sex to let him know how serious I was about change. Secondly, I put the requirements of him seeing a CSAT. I desperately want to know the why. We just recently met with our pastor and he told us to put the therapy on hold for 3 months and be boyfriend and girlfriend. I felt like he took a bat to my legs. I’m not sure how much more I can take. Will asking him to go a CSAT cause more harm than good? He is adamant that he’s not a sex addict.