My wife and I are looking at separation and the most difficult part of it is disclosure to the kids. Her affair partner lives in our neighborhood and they were seen together for a long time singing at different community functions and other places around town. That abruptly stopped once there was disclosure and I fear rumors have already started. Once we separate, those rumors are likely to flourish and since they have no plans to stop seeing each other, I fear my kids may hear things from others whether they be true or untrue.

My boys are approaching 15 and 12 so I feel they are at a critical age. If younger, less would need to be disclosed. If older, maybe more due to their maturity and likelihood they are going to pick it up elsewhere. I want to protect my kids and even still my spouse but her and her AP's actions are making that hard to do. While I want to protect them and not think bad things about their mother,I don't want them going crazy or getting information a little at a time from sources I can't control. If it's going to get out, I'd rather they here the true story from us and not some rumor from someone else. Any thoughts on the best way to disclose this to them in light of the circumstances?