I first logged on to AR June 2015, after learning what I later found out was just a drop in the bucket concerning my husband’s infidelity.
My husband is a sex added. He was unfaithful throughout our 30 year marriage.
I take exception with some of the guidance in your article.
“Ask yourself two questions: Why do I need to know this? Will the answer to this question help me move forward in my healing?”
I needed to know the full truth. Period.
And no, not one single question has helped me move toward healing. However, without the questions and continued searches for the truth, I would still be in the dark about the full extent of his betrayal.
As far as the sexual details are concerned, I didn’t need to ask. He posted excruciatingly graphic details about his “appointments” on The Erotic Review, for the entire world to read. Had I stopped investigating and trusted that he had answered all of my questions, I would not have found them.
The reality of what he was doing (prostitutes, among many other things) has been and continues to be devastating. Unreal. Incomprehensible.
Make it safe for him so HE can rebuild trust?
Try not to “over react.”
Are you kidding me?
Every time I hear or read about the 18-24month timeline, I feel like a failure. Almost three years out and I continue to die on the inside a little more every day.
AR has provided some invaluable information, but unless you have lived it, you can not possibly understand the degree of disorientation and sheer agony that comes with knowing that the man you loved, supported and sacrificed for was capable of regularly blocking you out of his mind and conscience to pursue other women -throughout your entire marriage.
The fact that he wrote about it makes it very difficult to buy in to a supposed struggle with guilt and shame, which further details me.
I won’t even get started on the lies, manipulationl, and.gaslighting.
The implication that I struggle to heal because I “know too much” is infuriating.
Discovery
I first logged on to AR June 2015, after learning what I later found out was just a drop in the bucket concerning my husband’s infidelity.
My husband is a sex added. He was unfaithful throughout our 30 year marriage.
I take exception with some of the guidance in your article.
“Ask yourself two questions: Why do I need to know this? Will the answer to this question help me move forward in my healing?”
I needed to know the full truth. Period.
And no, not one single question has helped me move toward healing. However, without the questions and continued searches for the truth, I would still be in the dark about the full extent of his betrayal.
As far as the sexual details are concerned, I didn’t need to ask. He posted excruciatingly graphic details about his “appointments” on The Erotic Review, for the entire world to read. Had I stopped investigating and trusted that he had answered all of my questions, I would not have found them.
The reality of what he was doing (prostitutes, among many other things) has been and continues to be devastating. Unreal. Incomprehensible.
Make it safe for him so HE can rebuild trust?
Try not to “over react.”
Are you kidding me?
Every time I hear or read about the 18-24month timeline, I feel like a failure. Almost three years out and I continue to die on the inside a little more every day.
AR has provided some invaluable information, but unless you have lived it, you can not possibly understand the degree of disorientation and sheer agony that comes with knowing that the man you loved, supported and sacrificed for was capable of regularly blocking you out of his mind and conscience to pursue other women -throughout your entire marriage.
The fact that he wrote about it makes it very difficult to buy in to a supposed struggle with guilt and shame, which further details me.
I won’t even get started on the lies, manipulationl, and.gaslighting.
The implication that I struggle to heal because I “know too much” is infuriating.
The PROBLEM is WHAT HE DID.