I am not sure that I am in any way qualified to respond to your pain. However, your post hurt my heart because it reminded me of my own heart crushing pain. I can only tell you what I have done. I have told only a couple of people and I have journaled my most heartfelt pain. Maybe I will write a book someday. It may not be published but it will be therapeutic. Crying a river of tears may not be good for your face but it will help your heart so do it whenever u feel like it. Remember this is not your fault but if your anger is uncontrollable, it may be the lasting memories your husband and children will carry through their life. I decided for many reasons to spend a couple of years trying to rebuild my marriage but at the same time he knows the exit door is open if this happens again. My marriage is permanently bruised but divorce from my husband of 30 years would be even more painful. All I can say is pray pray pray and in time moments of clarity will come to you.
Reply to BA
I am not sure that I am in any way qualified to respond to your pain. However, your post hurt my heart because it reminded me of my own heart crushing pain. I can only tell you what I have done. I have told only a couple of people and I have journaled my most heartfelt pain. Maybe I will write a book someday. It may not be published but it will be therapeutic. Crying a river of tears may not be good for your face but it will help your heart so do it whenever u feel like it. Remember this is not your fault but if your anger is uncontrollable, it may be the lasting memories your husband and children will carry through their life. I decided for many reasons to spend a couple of years trying to rebuild my marriage but at the same time he knows the exit door is open if this happens again. My marriage is permanently bruised but divorce from my husband of 30 years would be even more painful. All I can say is pray pray pray and in time moments of clarity will come to you.