I’m so sick and tired of hearing that we as betrayed spouses have to accept responsibility. It is not our responsibility to accept. Our responsibility is to heal ourselves even though we didn’t do anything to get to this point. That hurts. Our responsibility is to leave if we need to feel safe because we can’t trust that the person we love will ever give us the safety we need. Not all cheating comes from what the other person has done. Cheating comes from unhealed trauma, from not dealing with your own crap. It’s not the responsibility of the betrayed spouse. The betrayed spouse didn’t cause the cheating. Stop saying to take your part in it when we had no part in it. There are other ways to deal with your needs not being met than to cheat. If your not healthy enough mentally to see this and realize it, then that mean you have unresolved trauma and/or emotional pain/issues you need to resolve. So no I will not every take responsibility for my husbands sex addicted actions, for the empty whole he had before I met him that no matter how many people he slept with would never be filled, I won’t take responsibility for his actions. I will take responsibility for my healing, for my decision to see him for more than what he actually was, for my belief that he could be a better person instead seeing what was right in front of my face, that is the only part I will take.
Accept responsibility for what has happened
I’m so sick and tired of hearing that we as betrayed spouses have to accept responsibility. It is not our responsibility to accept. Our responsibility is to heal ourselves even though we didn’t do anything to get to this point. That hurts. Our responsibility is to leave if we need to feel safe because we can’t trust that the person we love will ever give us the safety we need. Not all cheating comes from what the other person has done. Cheating comes from unhealed trauma, from not dealing with your own crap. It’s not the responsibility of the betrayed spouse. The betrayed spouse didn’t cause the cheating. Stop saying to take your part in it when we had no part in it. There are other ways to deal with your needs not being met than to cheat. If your not healthy enough mentally to see this and realize it, then that mean you have unresolved trauma and/or emotional pain/issues you need to resolve. So no I will not every take responsibility for my husbands sex addicted actions, for the empty whole he had before I met him that no matter how many people he slept with would never be filled, I won’t take responsibility for his actions. I will take responsibility for my healing, for my decision to see him for more than what he actually was, for my belief that he could be a better person instead seeing what was right in front of my face, that is the only part I will take.