Why is it that we won't tell them how we are really doing ? That's what I asked myself when reading your response. Is it we don't want to hurt them? Harm the progress we or they have made? Make them feel bad all over again? Piss them off? I think for me all of the above. Sadly, he will never really know how my heart aches everyday. He doesn't ask. His life is easier if he doesn't know. Unfortunately I've been conditioned by my spouse that there will be some sort of negative response if I bring IT up, if I have a heart retching moment that destroys my day, I hear a song, or am feeling insecure and vulnerable, I don't talk about it.. I bear my burden alone and tell myself it or I will be ok. Why is it that the betrayed tend to be the ones that console or end up saying we're sorry after a blow up. Thinking about it right now, it may be the same reason he had an affair and I would never allow myself to do such a horrible thing and hurt someone I love. Shouldn't the betrayer be consoling the person they chose to betray? Wouldn't it make more sense that they would be asking us how we are doing? If we have any thing we would like to talk about ? No. It's not like that for me or for many of the people I read about on this site. Why ? Once again, they were the ones who were selfish enough to be able to have an affair to begin with. Morality, loyalty, selflessness, and empathy to name a few. That's what we have that they didn't and some still don't. I'm so messed up since this happened 3 1/2 yrs ago but....he doesn't know it. Why? Because I love him that much ! Sad but true. Unfortunately, even though we are doing amazingly well and he is good to me, I will never be the person I used to be, but, I am doing good ! What goes around comes around. I will remain a good person, a good mother and a faithful wife. I hope you and all the other men and women who have been crushed will realize that they are not as bad, inadequate, or horrible as this undeserving situation has made us feel. Let God heal you, move forward and try not to look back! Blessing to all. May the new year be better than the last !
They will never really know
Why is it that we won't tell them how we are really doing ? That's what I asked myself when reading your response. Is it we don't want to hurt them? Harm the progress we or they have made? Make them feel bad all over again? Piss them off? I think for me all of the above. Sadly, he will never really know how my heart aches everyday. He doesn't ask. His life is easier if he doesn't know. Unfortunately I've been conditioned by my spouse that there will be some sort of negative response if I bring IT up, if I have a heart retching moment that destroys my day, I hear a song, or am feeling insecure and vulnerable, I don't talk about it.. I bear my burden alone and tell myself it or I will be ok. Why is it that the betrayed tend to be the ones that console or end up saying we're sorry after a blow up. Thinking about it right now, it may be the same reason he had an affair and I would never allow myself to do such a horrible thing and hurt someone I love. Shouldn't the betrayer be consoling the person they chose to betray? Wouldn't it make more sense that they would be asking us how we are doing? If we have any thing we would like to talk about ? No. It's not like that for me or for many of the people I read about on this site. Why ? Once again, they were the ones who were selfish enough to be able to have an affair to begin with. Morality, loyalty, selflessness, and empathy to name a few. That's what we have that they didn't and some still don't. I'm so messed up since this happened 3 1/2 yrs ago but....he doesn't know it. Why? Because I love him that much ! Sad but true. Unfortunately, even though we are doing amazingly well and he is good to me, I will never be the person I used to be, but, I am doing good ! What goes around comes around. I will remain a good person, a good mother and a faithful wife. I hope you and all the other men and women who have been crushed will realize that they are not as bad, inadequate, or horrible as this undeserving situation has made us feel. Let God heal you, move forward and try not to look back! Blessing to all. May the new year be better than the last !