I very much concur with the article. However, for me the problem came with the attitude in answering the questions. Although after a couple of years and various counselors, my wife answered my questions, although at times with anger at me for asking repeatedly in search of an answer I could believe was complete. However, along with the answers came justification and blaming, very little taking responsibility, showing signs of remorse or expressing regret. One counselor told me I was to never bring up the affair again, giving my wife justification for anger at me when I did. Consequently, our marriage is lacking the intimacy desired.
Additional need.
I very much concur with the article. However, for me the problem came with the attitude in answering the questions. Although after a couple of years and various counselors, my wife answered my questions, although at times with anger at me for asking repeatedly in search of an answer I could believe was complete. However, along with the answers came justification and blaming, very little taking responsibility, showing signs of remorse or expressing regret. One counselor told me I was to never bring up the affair again, giving my wife justification for anger at me when I did. Consequently, our marriage is lacking the intimacy desired.