I have found that my desperate attempts to understand why my husband cheated have only yielded frustration (he does not know, or is not willing to explore, the reasons an affair became possible) and disappointment. After a year of soul searching and reading LOTS of books, I have to admit that at some point you have to LET GO of what you cannot control (your spouse or the AP) and start again to build the relationship you desire. Go for what you want - if your spouse can't get with the program, no big deal - find the happiness within.
no risk, no reward
I have found that my desperate attempts to understand why my husband cheated have only yielded frustration (he does not know, or is not willing to explore, the reasons an affair became possible) and disappointment. After a year of soul searching and reading LOTS of books, I have to admit that at some point you have to LET GO of what you cannot control (your spouse or the AP) and start again to build the relationship you desire. Go for what you want - if your spouse can't get with the program, no big deal - find the happiness within.