The thing I did well was I had my brother keep my children each time I wanted to confront him about the affair. I only had to confront a couple of times because I got explicit proof (e-mails, texts, phone records). I gave him several opportunities to come clean. I explained very clearly it was not going to be a safe haven at home if he continued to lie to me. He like many other betrayers did not tell the truth.
What I didn't do well at was handling the truth and details of the affair. Unfortunately, I would get so angry at him I would slap his face and any other imaginable physical abusive thing that I felt in my rage.
The bad part was I couldn't believe that I had so much rage inside of me. It's like something I have never felt in my whole life. He never touched me back, how he kept from doing that I'll never know.
I have managed to completely keep it from our children which are small 9 and 5. I never wanted them to have thoughts that were negative about their father. My daughter is so close to me I knew this could be very damaging.
I'm sure most people reading this might have a hard time believing I am saved but I tell you that God protected my children from knowing what was going on. Every time I would go into a rage they would be asleep. They never woke up one time, so I know he was there protecting them.
I am happy to say that a year and 4 months later with a lot of counseling and a husband that let me use him as a punching bag:( that I am healing quite well. The grief I use to feel that was so gripping and gut wrenching I rarely feel anymore. Also, the constant obsession of the sexual acts use to live in my mind almost 24 hours a day does not play over and over again. It's more on a rare occasion that I might think about it. There is hope to all of you out there that think it won't go away. It can and will. Just keep hanging in there and don't give up.
Confronting spouse