I feel the same way. This is just too hard and I feel no real hope that he will change. He has shown no real remorse, wont tell the truth about what happened, has become verbally abusive and physically intimidating, occasionally physically abusive (spit in my face!!). He has been going to anger management since March, yet these things continue. I am losing hope that change is possible. He ignores it all, unless I am asking questions about his emotional affairs and then he gets angrythat I ask. It has been 8 months since I confronted him on the last EA ( he had this one 18 years after he had the first one with the same coworker...Im no longer sure it was ever really over all these years) and he has watched me suffer, cry upstairs almost every night, and lose over 30 pounds to the point that my health is endangered. I have recently moved out on the advice of my therapist. Husband justifies it by saying I "neglected" him and when I ask HOW?, he can't tell me. He says she "listens to him about the country" (we have acreage and he likes to farm...not my cup of tea, but I do listen to him if and when he chooses to speak to me). I no longer feel that things will get better and I have lost hope and fear that I can never feel the same about him. I am going to do a separation for a few months and watch his actions so I can feel that I have tried everything. Maybe a miracle will happen and he will change. If no change, my lawyer is standing by and all it will take is one phone call to say "File!" We live in a no fault state and 50% of everything is mine. If nothing else, hitting him in the finances will bring about some change, probably just not the kind he wants. I hate to lose my high school sweetheart, the father of my kids (all grown), and a 35 year marriage, but I have no more energy to try to find and renew what he took from me when he selfishly decided she was worth more to him than me and our marriage. So sad...crying as I write this.
justification
I feel the same way. This is just too hard and I feel no real hope that he will change. He has shown no real remorse, wont tell the truth about what happened, has become verbally abusive and physically intimidating, occasionally physically abusive (spit in my face!!). He has been going to anger management since March, yet these things continue. I am losing hope that change is possible. He ignores it all, unless I am asking questions about his emotional affairs and then he gets angrythat I ask. It has been 8 months since I confronted him on the last EA ( he had this one 18 years after he had the first one with the same coworker...Im no longer sure it was ever really over all these years) and he has watched me suffer, cry upstairs almost every night, and lose over 30 pounds to the point that my health is endangered. I have recently moved out on the advice of my therapist. Husband justifies it by saying I "neglected" him and when I ask HOW?, he can't tell me. He says she "listens to him about the country" (we have acreage and he likes to farm...not my cup of tea, but I do listen to him if and when he chooses to speak to me). I no longer feel that things will get better and I have lost hope and fear that I can never feel the same about him. I am going to do a separation for a few months and watch his actions so I can feel that I have tried everything. Maybe a miracle will happen and he will change. If no change, my lawyer is standing by and all it will take is one phone call to say "File!" We live in a no fault state and 50% of everything is mine. If nothing else, hitting him in the finances will bring about some change, probably just not the kind he wants. I hate to lose my high school sweetheart, the father of my kids (all grown), and a 35 year marriage, but I have no more energy to try to find and renew what he took from me when he selfishly decided she was worth more to him than me and our marriage. So sad...crying as I write this.