I agree with you. I struggled with this envy/jealousy feelings for a very long time. I am almost 3 1/2 yrs past D-Day and it's still a struggle within me at times still. I am at the point where I am just tired of feeling mad and angry. I have my moments when I just can't keep my mouth quiet and I say something mean and nasty, then I regret it...but do I really regret it? That's the part of my new self I dislike. I was never this way, I was a very loving, happy, nurturing person. If I thought mean things I never voice them out loud because I would not have wanted to hurt my husbands feelings. Now I feel some elation hurting him. I know it's wrong, and because of the feelings I get after saying them I wonder if I am supposed to stay with him or would I feel better if I was by myself. I know they say it's a choice and we would be happier if we just let those feeling leave us, but I guess my choice is still to feel miserable at times. Best of luck to all those suffering with this.
Rachel
I agree with you. I
I agree with you. I struggled with this envy/jealousy feelings for a very long time. I am almost 3 1/2 yrs past D-Day and it's still a struggle within me at times still. I am at the point where I am just tired of feeling mad and angry. I have my moments when I just can't keep my mouth quiet and I say something mean and nasty, then I regret it...but do I really regret it? That's the part of my new self I dislike. I was never this way, I was a very loving, happy, nurturing person. If I thought mean things I never voice them out loud because I would not have wanted to hurt my husbands feelings. Now I feel some elation hurting him. I know it's wrong, and because of the feelings I get after saying them I wonder if I am supposed to stay with him or would I feel better if I was by myself. I know they say it's a choice and we would be happier if we just let those feeling leave us, but I guess my choice is still to feel miserable at times. Best of luck to all those suffering with this.
Rachel