I don't think anyone ever intended to add insult to injury in any of these articles. Majority of the articles have been helpful to both me and my spouse.
I found out in Dec 2011 about an affair my husband had had 6 years prior. A month later, in Jan 2012, I found out about an affair he had in 2011 with a woman he was currently working with. Then 2 months after that I found out that he was still texting the woman he had just had the affair with. The truth came out...gradually, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I continue to wrestle with the pain of the betrayal, but I have forgiven him. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do, but I had to do it for me. It took him a few months, but he has come to take FULL responsibility for EVERYTHING, and he blames me for NOTHING. He realizes his selfishness and is repentant. I've watched as he has cried for what he's done to me and to our marriage of 15 years. Only because of the change I have seen in him has it been possible for me to take responsibility for the problems I contributed to our marriage. As I told him, I will never take responsibility for his choices. The affairs are 100% his fault. But I will take responsibility for my contribution to the problems we had PRIOR to his infidelity. Never will I accept what he did or think that our troubled marriage was a reason for his stupidity. He can never fix what he broke; only God can heal me, and He's doing just that. But in order to reconcile the marriage, both parties have to come together humbly to work on what was wrong before the betrayal began. That, of course, cannot happen until the healing from the affair begins.
Missing the Mark