T,
What a tough situation you are in with your husband working with the affair partner.
You may want to have a frank discussion about the job situation. I've seen many cases of couples who end up not recovering due to the continued immersion in the addiction of the affair partner. Zero contact of any kind forever is the best situation.
An alcoholic can no longer work in a bar. Even if he is the best bartender in the world.
T, What a tough situation you