Thank you for your feedback.
I am so sorry your husband is "back to the races." I take it that means he is fully involved with her again? Are you staying in your marriage? I know how awful it feels.
It's been 1-1/2 years since I first found out about the affair. I did so by playing his messages. (Something I had never done before in our 18 years together, but I "knew" for to long that she wasn't just a friend. I needed proof) The messages were horrific. I hit 8 on his cell phone to return her call, let her know that I knew, and told her I'd call her husband if she didn't tell him herself. I am all for calling the other woman, if you haven't already. We were out of town, and her behavior was like a roller coaster upon his return to work.
Almost a year ago, my husband changed his number. She didn't call much anymore, but when she did, my heart would pound trough my chest with anger. He was good about disclosing it to me. She asked for his new number when she discovered it had changed. He refused to give it to her. She told him she'd find a way to get it. (Talk about harassment...too bad women are never successfully accused of it) Sure enough, it took awhile, but she called him last month. But it was to scream at him for not telling him about our vacation, and other things that are none of her business. He let her have it, and was furious that she obtained his number from a supervisor's list posted in a fairly obscure (but not obscure enough) place. He told her (again) that they no longer share personal info or a friendship.
I think her behavior has been crazy enough that he has no desire to start things up again. Our counselor admits that she cannot diagnose someone she hasn't met with, but the behavior my husband reports of her leads her to think she has a type of personality disorder (Borderline personality, passive aggressive, or who knows?) She is simply not a normal, healthy individual) She has also gained about 40 lbs since D-day. I think had my husband quit immediately after D-Day, he would not have seen all the ugliness she has inside her, and would miss who he thought she was. He knew she was on husband #3, and had a very troubled background, but he really needed to see just how crazy her crazy side is. I hope I am right about this.
Please feel free to stay in touch with me for support. I am so sorry for your situation.
Thank you for your