I want to take harboring hope to deal with all my pain and traumas, I have learned to suppress throughout my life. I was physically abused in early childhood. I learned to repress my feelings from an early age and have problems expressing my needs, my wants and my pain. Then fast forward to late teens the trauma of discovering my fathers infidelities, and the superhero I thought he was, no longer. He was a serial adulterer, and had a son from one of his last AP’s. Can’t even tell you what all his choices did to me and my family. He passed away from injuries due to an air accident, which in itself was very traumatic to witness, and I was left with so many unresolved issues.. Not only did I have to deal with our family grieving my father’s loss and the trauma of it all, I also had to deal with two of his APs and his very young son.
As if it wasn’t enough, all the pain and trauma I went through with my fathers death and infidelities, my UH had to repeat the story... my UH had no compassion, nothing mattered. My UH had 2 affairs. My 1st Dday was Nov2016, 2nd Dday was Mar 2017. His betrayals and recklessness have me dumbfounded. I was friends with AP#1. He saw nothing wrong with carrying his extracurricular activities with APs in our home. APs were married coworkers. Both affairs were emotional, and physical, both carried out for over a year each. Can’t tell you what this has done to my trust in myself, in my UH and women friends. Needless to say this has crushed me in ways nothing ever had before.
My UH was a workaholic, his priority was his work, he’d tell me over and over I was his priority, his actions showed I wasn’t. But I still trusted him blindly, I trusted him with my heart with my whole being, with my soul. He clearly didn’t deserve it. I wish I hadn’t, I wish I learned from my father, or from my first significant long relationship, where my boyfriend cheated on me too, and now my husband. I don’t believe all men are created equal...that is why my full trust in my husband. I thought he had my heart. How do I repeat the story?, three significant people in my life have been unfaithful? I need to learn the patterns and what I do,
I want to take HH to deal with the pain and trauma of my life and multiple experienced infidelities. I don’t want to be a victim of my past, I want to look back and feel like I survived. I want to learn to forgive, there is a lot I need to forgive starting with me. I want to express feelings and channel all the anger I have. I don’t want this experience to consume me. I want to heal for me so that I process the pain rather than transfer the pain. I want to
Traumas of infidelity repeated, need to channel the pain
I want to take harboring hope to deal with all my pain and traumas, I have learned to suppress throughout my life. I was physically abused in early childhood. I learned to repress my feelings from an early age and have problems expressing my needs, my wants and my pain. Then fast forward to late teens the trauma of discovering my fathers infidelities, and the superhero I thought he was, no longer. He was a serial adulterer, and had a son from one of his last AP’s. Can’t even tell you what all his choices did to me and my family. He passed away from injuries due to an air accident, which in itself was very traumatic to witness, and I was left with so many unresolved issues.. Not only did I have to deal with our family grieving my father’s loss and the trauma of it all, I also had to deal with two of his APs and his very young son.
As if it wasn’t enough, all the pain and trauma I went through with my fathers death and infidelities, my UH had to repeat the story... my UH had no compassion, nothing mattered. My UH had 2 affairs. My 1st Dday was Nov2016, 2nd Dday was Mar 2017. His betrayals and recklessness have me dumbfounded. I was friends with AP#1. He saw nothing wrong with carrying his extracurricular activities with APs in our home. APs were married coworkers. Both affairs were emotional, and physical, both carried out for over a year each. Can’t tell you what this has done to my trust in myself, in my UH and women friends. Needless to say this has crushed me in ways nothing ever had before.
My UH was a workaholic, his priority was his work, he’d tell me over and over I was his priority, his actions showed I wasn’t. But I still trusted him blindly, I trusted him with my heart with my whole being, with my soul. He clearly didn’t deserve it. I wish I hadn’t, I wish I learned from my father, or from my first significant long relationship, where my boyfriend cheated on me too, and now my husband. I don’t believe all men are created equal...that is why my full trust in my husband. I thought he had my heart. How do I repeat the story?, three significant people in my life have been unfaithful? I need to learn the patterns and what I do,
I want to take HH to deal with the pain and trauma of my life and multiple experienced infidelities. I don’t want to be a victim of my past, I want to look back and feel like I survived. I want to learn to forgive, there is a lot I need to forgive starting with me. I want to express feelings and channel all the anger I have. I don’t want this experience to consume me. I want to heal for me so that I process the pain rather than transfer the pain. I want to