I NEVER HAD A CLUE

I never had a clue that my husband was cheating or that he had cheated 3 times in our 20 year marriage. Let me start with D day number 1. I was working and I got a message from a person I did not know on Facebook. I opened the message and could see my husband but I did not play the volume. He was standing in someone else’s bedroom. I immediately called him, he was getting ready to meet me to go shopping for Thanksgiving, I said, “did you have an affair?” He paused and said, “yes.” I then said, “with who?” He told me it was a girl from work. I was floored! But wait, the worst part for me was when I asked for how long. He said, “two years.” I hit the floor. I immediately left work and called him when I got into the car. I asked him how old she was and I wasn’t prepared to hear she was half his age. Our daughter’s age. I then asked if he loved her. I wasn’t expecting him to say YES. I went home to talking, screaming, crying and fighting for 4 days straight. We didn’t eat or sleep for 36 hours. THERE IS NO HANDBOOK FOR THIS, until I found Affair Recovery!
He turned my world upside down! He turned my children’s world upside down. He literally turned himself upside down. I had made a decision to stay and allow him to stay. We recommitted ourselves to making it work. Little did I know that that is impossible to do alone.
Our first counselor was inexperienced in real hard core infidelity counseling and wasted some time but it was a start. I started watching Samuel and we were always a step ahead of our counselor. Then the other shoe slowly dropped. I found the phone records and realized it was a lot more involved then what he lead me to believe. Little things would slowly leak out, it had been devastating.
Then we had a second D day and his affair partner spilled everything he was hiding. Gifts he bought, money he had given her and all the time he had spent with her. Not to mention, their future plans to be together. He chose me, he kept telling me. But, that’s not completely true. He was given an ultimatum and I was the better choice. He never thought I’d find everything out, so he was going to coast by like he had for years. His affair partner was the one that told me of his other affairs. It had started about 5 years into our marriage. WHO WAS I MARRIED TO...???
It’s now been a little for 4 months since the original discovery day and we have a great experienced counselor but it is still a struggle everyday! I have watched every video from Affair Recovery and now listened to every podcast and it helps me get through the day. I can’t imagine how helpful Harboring Hope would be for me. I know we are going to come out of this better than before and I continue to believe my kids will too. I thank God for all the help and I know he’ll put others in my path to get us through this season.