I have made most of them and it has created a nitemare. It has not allowed my wife to heal, sometimes I think at all. I come from a family that did not show emotion and I have no idea how to deal with her's. The biggest issue today is trust. She constantly accuses me of things that are not true but cannot be proven, mainly what my thoughts are and feelings are. It has been 1 1/2 years since contact was broken with the affair partner and we are no better off. The problem I have is how to respond to the accusations. I end up reacting and not responding mainly because I have made a lot of changes and I am defending myself. This is obviously not the right way to handle it, but I know no other way. Any pointers from someone that is where I am would be great. I have been told to take it, but if I do it seems to reinforce what she believes.
Mistakes
I have made most of them and it has created a nitemare. It has not allowed my wife to heal, sometimes I think at all. I come from a family that did not show emotion and I have no idea how to deal with her's. The biggest issue today is trust. She constantly accuses me of things that are not true but cannot be proven, mainly what my thoughts are and feelings are. It has been 1 1/2 years since contact was broken with the affair partner and we are no better off. The problem I have is how to respond to the accusations. I end up reacting and not responding mainly because I have made a lot of changes and I am defending myself. This is obviously not the right way to handle it, but I know no other way. Any pointers from someone that is where I am would be great. I have been told to take it, but if I do it seems to reinforce what she believes.