About 6 months into recovery, my husband slipped back into a very dark place. When I made some discoveries, he was very sorry and repentant. He mentioned that as he looked back at his recent journaling he couldn't even believe what he had written. I was so confused and frustrated and I pressured him to let me see what he had written. I so desperately wanted to know and understand what was going on in his head.
Well, as your article proves, that was a mistake. I've spent the past year and a half trying to deal with very hurtful things he said about me. He has begged me to disregard them and even burned the journal in our firepit, but those words still echo in my mind at times, telling me that I'm not enough. Logically, I know I should not give credit to anything he thought or said when he was so lost in shame and self-deception, but emotionally, it is too hard to brush off the hatefulness of someone I have loved and trusted with all my heart since I was 15 years old.
But, reading your words, Rick, was just what I needed to give myself permission to disregard his words, attitudes and actions during that period of betrayal. I understand that he was working his way toward acknowledging his issues and dealing with his guilt and shame. We are in a much better place now, and I am amazed at the healing that has taken place. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and expertise in this matter.
Thanks Rick, this was very
Thanks Rick, this was very helpful for me.
About 6 months into recovery, my husband slipped back into a very dark place. When I made some discoveries, he was very sorry and repentant. He mentioned that as he looked back at his recent journaling he couldn't even believe what he had written. I was so confused and frustrated and I pressured him to let me see what he had written. I so desperately wanted to know and understand what was going on in his head.
Well, as your article proves, that was a mistake. I've spent the past year and a half trying to deal with very hurtful things he said about me. He has begged me to disregard them and even burned the journal in our firepit, but those words still echo in my mind at times, telling me that I'm not enough. Logically, I know I should not give credit to anything he thought or said when he was so lost in shame and self-deception, but emotionally, it is too hard to brush off the hatefulness of someone I have loved and trusted with all my heart since I was 15 years old.
But, reading your words, Rick, was just what I needed to give myself permission to disregard his words, attitudes and actions during that period of betrayal. I understand that he was working his way toward acknowledging his issues and dealing with his guilt and shame. We are in a much better place now, and I am amazed at the healing that has taken place. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and expertise in this matter.