Hi, I would just like to say that I have read numerous articles about infidelity disclosure and betrayal. Although meaning of the Articles resonated with me this article is by far the most accurate depiction of what I have experienced. Years ago I believe my husband had an affair with a woman unbeknownst to me. However I could never prove it with what I believe what is Rock Solid evidence. For a few years it plagued me I want to constantly ask him to help me make sense of all the events that transpired in the past. He would never answer in the fashion that I wanted so it got easier to stop asking. I compartmentalize all of it and continue to move on with life thinking I must have been wrong and all these years that I asked him to tell me the truth he was. It was like fighting multiple Wars a war against him whether it was warranted or not and a war against me trying to decide if I delusional or had I allowed his perception of events to ultimately become my own. However what's the world paused as a collective I began to see the past in a way I never experienced. I Began to poke holes in his stories of the past. I began to realize that throughout this whole ordeal he had done all of the above,he had gaslighted me, he had stonewalled me and I had allowed it. I could feel my anger beginning to rise to the surface the hurt was still there but it wasn't strong as it had been in the past. Once again I went to him and ask him again what happened in the past although he's still deflected once again not taking any accountability at all. However I did see a difference I did not scary away from the argument I stood up for myself and by just watching his reaction it became clear that I must have been on the right track all along. Unfortunately unlike you we are still dancing and if he has yet to speak the truth. I even took it upon myself to see if I could find the mystery woman of the past and although I'm pretty sure I found her I couldn't get her to admit to it either. It is to the point there is only two people that actually know what transpired and I am not one of those parties. I agree it is like being in and knowing you don't have the key to escape so you sit and wait. The whole time I'm thinking if he could just only tell the truth it would be over. I believe he thinks if he was to ever tell the truth he would risk losing me and our marriage. In my opinion him not telling the truth is risking losing me and the marriage.
The dance
Hi, I would just like to say that I have read numerous articles about infidelity disclosure and betrayal. Although meaning of the Articles resonated with me this article is by far the most accurate depiction of what I have experienced. Years ago I believe my husband had an affair with a woman unbeknownst to me. However I could never prove it with what I believe what is Rock Solid evidence. For a few years it plagued me I want to constantly ask him to help me make sense of all the events that transpired in the past. He would never answer in the fashion that I wanted so it got easier to stop asking. I compartmentalize all of it and continue to move on with life thinking I must have been wrong and all these years that I asked him to tell me the truth he was. It was like fighting multiple Wars a war against him whether it was warranted or not and a war against me trying to decide if I delusional or had I allowed his perception of events to ultimately become my own. However what's the world paused as a collective I began to see the past in a way I never experienced. I Began to poke holes in his stories of the past. I began to realize that throughout this whole ordeal he had done all of the above,he had gaslighted me, he had stonewalled me and I had allowed it. I could feel my anger beginning to rise to the surface the hurt was still there but it wasn't strong as it had been in the past. Once again I went to him and ask him again what happened in the past although he's still deflected once again not taking any accountability at all. However I did see a difference I did not scary away from the argument I stood up for myself and by just watching his reaction it became clear that I must have been on the right track all along. Unfortunately unlike you we are still dancing and if he has yet to speak the truth. I even took it upon myself to see if I could find the mystery woman of the past and although I'm pretty sure I found her I couldn't get her to admit to it either. It is to the point there is only two people that actually know what transpired and I am not one of those parties. I agree it is like being in and knowing you don't have the key to escape so you sit and wait. The whole time I'm thinking if he could just only tell the truth it would be over. I believe he thinks if he was to ever tell the truth he would risk losing me and our marriage. In my opinion him not telling the truth is risking losing me and the marriage.