I wish there was a "like" button for what you just said about leaning into the shame and talking about it. I think I could finally begin to heal if I could get my spouse to discuss the shame we both feel about his affairs. I have talked about my shame concerning what I felt that I did to contribute to making the marriage vulnerable to affairs and I have asked his forgiveness. But he won't initiate a talk about it and won't talk about his shame except to say he has it. It's sad.
Like
I wish there was a "like" button for what you just said about leaning into the shame and talking about it. I think I could finally begin to heal if I could get my spouse to discuss the shame we both feel about his affairs. I have talked about my shame concerning what I felt that I did to contribute to making the marriage vulnerable to affairs and I have asked his forgiveness. But he won't initiate a talk about it and won't talk about his shame except to say he has it. It's sad.