Man, I'm struggling not to cry as I read this. I hurt for you and know the pain exactly, as I too have an unfaithful wife who has spent 8 months smearing me to our closest friends, her family, and our counselor - blaming me to justify her lies and infidelity. Just in the past 3 weeks has she started to soften, agreeing to do the boot camp here, but she has been hampering my discovery process by withholding information....then when I find out something new, something held back or lied about earlier, it crushes the trust I had been watering and trying to nurture.
I can relate completely to the lack of connection. I have none either. She withholds all. The scary part for me is that during her affair, we were still having relations many times a week, and I had no idea she had given her heart and body to someone else. So, now I fear I'll never be able to trust if future closeness is actually real
I, like you, wonder if this is what the rest of my life will look like. Something has changed in me and will never be the same. The confidence, the feeling of being worth something to someone...
I do know, however, that God is still hearing you, and if not in this life, in the next you (and I) will know the reason He used this particular, excruciating fire to refine us. I'm in this for my 3 kids right now (ages 3, 5, and 7). I pray one day I'll be in this for her and for us. I'll pray for you...
blame deflecting
Man, I'm struggling not to cry as I read this. I hurt for you and know the pain exactly, as I too have an unfaithful wife who has spent 8 months smearing me to our closest friends, her family, and our counselor - blaming me to justify her lies and infidelity. Just in the past 3 weeks has she started to soften, agreeing to do the boot camp here, but she has been hampering my discovery process by withholding information....then when I find out something new, something held back or lied about earlier, it crushes the trust I had been watering and trying to nurture.
I can relate completely to the lack of connection. I have none either. She withholds all. The scary part for me is that during her affair, we were still having relations many times a week, and I had no idea she had given her heart and body to someone else. So, now I fear I'll never be able to trust if future closeness is actually real
I, like you, wonder if this is what the rest of my life will look like. Something has changed in me and will never be the same. The confidence, the feeling of being worth something to someone...
I do know, however, that God is still hearing you, and if not in this life, in the next you (and I) will know the reason He used this particular, excruciating fire to refine us. I'm in this for my 3 kids right now (ages 3, 5, and 7). I pray one day I'll be in this for her and for us. I'll pray for you...