You are definitely not the only one, and nothing you are feeling or thinking is weird - I promise you. There are so many thoughts and emotions that come about after infidelity that are totally unfamiliar. I was like a completely different person - one I didn't recognize.
Holding opposing feelings at the same time is perfectly ok and normal, but I know it's confusing. It's hard to know how to feel sometimes.
I don't know how far out you are from discovery but detachment was definitely part of my experience too. I felt numb at times, like I was looking in from the outside. Then I'd feel crushing pain, then anger, then depression, then hopelessness, then detachment. Over and over. There are so many things we experience and we're all a little different but none of that is unusual. I suspect most of us are more alike than not. But if you are isolated you aren't hearing those voices and it can feel like you are the only one. Keeping everything inside definitely keeps us disconnected. I experienced that too and I felt like I was totally fake, just pretending.
You said you haven't shared your thoughts. I gently suggest that you need to share this with someone. It can be a professional or not, but I kept it all to myself for a long time and I really did not start to find relief until I could freely share with someone who understood and could validate my experience. Only then could I begin to loosen the very tight grip I had on the pain and even consider what life would look like if I could start to heal. It's not easy, but it's possible. Harboring Hope might be good for you. It is a small group who are experiencing the same feelings you are. The situations are different but the feelings are really the same, and having that group can be a lifeline. A good therapist would also be helpful, but admittedly it can be hard to find a good one.
I'm so very glad to offer you connection and validation of your experience. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me and I hope to hear from you again. I wish you the best in your healing journey :) It is hard but it can get better - much better. Hang in there.
Hi bsjg123456
You are definitely not the only one, and nothing you are feeling or thinking is weird - I promise you. There are so many thoughts and emotions that come about after infidelity that are totally unfamiliar. I was like a completely different person - one I didn't recognize.
Holding opposing feelings at the same time is perfectly ok and normal, but I know it's confusing. It's hard to know how to feel sometimes.
I don't know how far out you are from discovery but detachment was definitely part of my experience too. I felt numb at times, like I was looking in from the outside. Then I'd feel crushing pain, then anger, then depression, then hopelessness, then detachment. Over and over. There are so many things we experience and we're all a little different but none of that is unusual. I suspect most of us are more alike than not. But if you are isolated you aren't hearing those voices and it can feel like you are the only one. Keeping everything inside definitely keeps us disconnected. I experienced that too and I felt like I was totally fake, just pretending.
You said you haven't shared your thoughts. I gently suggest that you need to share this with someone. It can be a professional or not, but I kept it all to myself for a long time and I really did not start to find relief until I could freely share with someone who understood and could validate my experience. Only then could I begin to loosen the very tight grip I had on the pain and even consider what life would look like if I could start to heal. It's not easy, but it's possible. Harboring Hope might be good for you. It is a small group who are experiencing the same feelings you are. The situations are different but the feelings are really the same, and having that group can be a lifeline. A good therapist would also be helpful, but admittedly it can be hard to find a good one.
I'm so very glad to offer you connection and validation of your experience. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me and I hope to hear from you again. I wish you the best in your healing journey :) It is hard but it can get better - much better. Hang in there.