Samuel
As always I appreciate your words of wisdom, spoken not from a perceived knowledge , but from experience. I would love to hear you expand on codependency and it role in the marriage, infidelity, reconciliation and the personal healing of both the betrayed and the unfaithful. I am the betrayed spouse and just starting to really see and understand the problems of codependency. I am now working the 12 steps, 22 months out and having gone through the HH course and three councilors. I am a fixer by nature and it has caused me so much more pain in all this mess. A week of working on me and giving up my control has brought me more peace than I've had in all the insanity of our situation combined. I am learning that I am powerless over another person and to give this up to a higher power and the control I have allowed others over me. For to long, giving it up or giving it to God ment I had to bury my pain , my wants, my needs and my desires in the marriage , recovery and reconciliation. I do not see it this way now, it is freeing me from the pain of not seeing what I need to see from my spouse and how I let that have control over me. It does not change how much I love or care for my spouse but how much I care for me, and me being healthy. I feel that I am now on the right journey, but would like to hear more about this. Seems to me to be one of the wars within our selves. Many thanks.
Samuel
Samuel
As always I appreciate your words of wisdom, spoken not from a perceived knowledge , but from experience. I would love to hear you expand on codependency and it role in the marriage, infidelity, reconciliation and the personal healing of both the betrayed and the unfaithful. I am the betrayed spouse and just starting to really see and understand the problems of codependency. I am now working the 12 steps, 22 months out and having gone through the HH course and three councilors. I am a fixer by nature and it has caused me so much more pain in all this mess. A week of working on me and giving up my control has brought me more peace than I've had in all the insanity of our situation combined. I am learning that I am powerless over another person and to give this up to a higher power and the control I have allowed others over me. For to long, giving it up or giving it to God ment I had to bury my pain , my wants, my needs and my desires in the marriage , recovery and reconciliation. I do not see it this way now, it is freeing me from the pain of not seeing what I need to see from my spouse and how I let that have control over me. It does not change how much I love or care for my spouse but how much I care for me, and me being healthy. I feel that I am now on the right journey, but would like to hear more about this. Seems to me to be one of the wars within our selves. Many thanks.