THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I needed to know this is normal! I am 2 years (and 2 months) from D-day. I feel like I should be completely healed by now - including physical desire for my husband. The truth is - I have none.
I also began to think I was going crazy prior to D-day. At that point I began to seek counseling, however, once the truth was finally revealed my counselor told me he didn't specialize in infidelity, so couldn't help much, but continued to tell me I was doing remarkably well. I felt like he was patting my hand and sending me on my way. I didn't feel like I was doing well. So, I stopped going. And here, 2 years later, still feel broken (although not as broken as I did then). (And no - I have not done a course or a weekend - to be honest the prices are far beyond what I can pay right now, and since we are 2 years out he is not interested in help because we are "past that").
I trigger a lot (AP #1 lives within walking distance to me & I have to drive past her mom's house to get to mine), and now have an STD that has caused precancerous cells, but what bothers me more than anything is that I almost quite literally freeze up when he tries to be intimate with me. It's as though everything inside me is screaming that I have no desire for this, for him. I love him because I have decided to. But my body does not want to cooperate.
I hope I can pull up the link to the audio you posted. Thanks again for making me feel normal.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I needed to know this is normal! I am 2 years (and 2 months) from D-day. I feel like I should be completely healed by now - including physical desire for my husband. The truth is - I have none.
I also began to think I was going crazy prior to D-day. At that point I began to seek counseling, however, once the truth was finally revealed my counselor told me he didn't specialize in infidelity, so couldn't help much, but continued to tell me I was doing remarkably well. I felt like he was patting my hand and sending me on my way. I didn't feel like I was doing well. So, I stopped going. And here, 2 years later, still feel broken (although not as broken as I did then). (And no - I have not done a course or a weekend - to be honest the prices are far beyond what I can pay right now, and since we are 2 years out he is not interested in help because we are "past that").
I trigger a lot (AP #1 lives within walking distance to me & I have to drive past her mom's house to get to mine), and now have an STD that has caused precancerous cells, but what bothers me more than anything is that I almost quite literally freeze up when he tries to be intimate with me. It's as though everything inside me is screaming that I have no desire for this, for him. I love him because I have decided to. But my body does not want to cooperate.
I hope I can pull up the link to the audio you posted. Thanks again for making me feel normal.